January 27, 2014
They say forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.
I was never tempted to sell drugs, do crime, and sell out in any way. I stayed with my music and kept writing songs and performing, anywhere I could.
My father owned an antique and second hand shop in South Wales, Cardiff. When I moved to London he said take what you need for your apartment. Now when I look back, he was giving away his much needed profit, but he did it in such a way I felt like he did not need the stuff at all, youth is an ignorant bliss. I like this - Teenagers: Tired of being harassed By Your Stupid Parents? ACT NOW!!! Move out. Get a Job. Pay Your Bills While You Still Know Everything. My father gave me an antique burgundy leather studded sofa, (Chaise lounge), matching winged chairs, antique cabinets, paintings and statues etc. I knew as Johnny and my cuz Laverne put the stuff on the back of the hired truck, with my bro Carlos who usually helped me in many ways through my life, at the steering wheel ready to drive me and my haul back to London. With my dad standing there 6’2”, black Stetson, built like a brick house, the same cigarette hanging out of his mouth, clasping his big hands together smiling at me, it was all done with the blessing of him and my mother, who was waiting at our family house, at that time in Howard Gardens Cardiff, with my favourite cup of make everything all right Welsh tea. I also realised it was the warm family house vibes and the love my mother & father had for us all, that made the tea so comforting. Tea as I knew it was actually not very good for you. In Wales if your girl leaves you, your leg has to come off, your house just got burnt to the ground, and in Wales there is only one solution? “Have a cup of tea”. It is not the tea, it is the ritual, and my friend Amber used to say that all the time “Noah Tea drinking is all about the ritual” R.I.P, that was one amazing beautiful hearted lady. Softly spoken and class. She had an aura of youth and optimism I have never experienced ever before or since. In all honesty the closest is her daughter Sammy, another great energy. It was also the wisdom of practical reasoning that ends up in the taste of the tea that translates into some of those loving conversations. That’s how music becomes nostalgia; music memories connect with the sound of an era. By the time I was finished raiding my parents shop, my London pad on old Marylebone road looked like a little lord Fauntleroy’s apartment. That place became a giant cup of tea for hundreds of people. People would come from all over the world to just talk. Others would come for music advice, others for connects, some for financial help, priests would stay for hour’s, it was what we did before there was face book, face look into their eyes. We would get together and save our eyes from these screens. The light off someone like Amber was much better for you. It was also all for free, like all the best things in life. Getting harder to find those things these days, waters for sale, if you sit in your car too long they move you on, parks close earlier, can’t blast your music, the studio is exceptable.they sell air in different flavours. They sold the sky to airways, space to aliens, and the list goes on.
I used to hide money in my apartment, and then one day cleaning up I would find a bundle of cash somewhere strange. But it would always happen right at that needed moment. I remember watching one of my favourite rock singers Kurt Cobain in a documentary, he said something like, I used to love going into thrift stores for a bargain, but since the fame and money that joy has been taken away from me. You see, the simple things in life, the price tag kills the joy of freedom. Kurt got so rich he did not need the bargain anymore, for fitting the privilege of caring about the little things. Money kills expression, and the fame lifts the veil on a beautiful naivety, never to return. That’s why the meek inherit the earth, and the rich get stuck with the hump in the eye of the needle.
Now I have danced and sung with the stars, eaten with the privileged. From a Hobo to a king, I now know it was ALL-necessary, the uncertainty and the knowing. Someone once said, money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy a big boat to sail right up next to it and take a look. I have been in that big boat, & the boat I can live without, but happiness thank God it’s still not for sale (excuse the pun, sail). I never needed money to feel joy. Money is a fuel, a fuel to live in a world that is governed by greed. It was no different back in the day when people bartered. It had to go this way dealing in cows, have you got something smaller? Now it’s all done with numbers translated onto a thin plastic card.
Which brings me back to my favourite film this year…Her. Numbers, computers, space, A Zen conversation.