MY MOTHER CAN DO NO WRONG:
January 10, 2014
I told her this many years ago, and to this day it remains the same. Not just because back in the day she took so much shit for three little mixed brown boys, that three little mixed brown boys noticed. Not just because back in the day a thousand people gathered to watch my grandmother and grandfather’s wedding in Dublin, just because they had never seen black people before, never mind witnessing them display the action of love, getting married like real people (Is it true the humans are better than us). Not just because she herself then got married to a black man and feared for her children’s future in a time where people could have died for less (Strange Fruit). Not just because everyday of her life & still doing it, she has put her family first before herself. Not just because I watched her nurse my father through many years of alzheimer's before he died. Practically everyday going to the hospital come all weathers, just to hold the hand of the man she loved who sometimes forgot whose hand he was holding. Then she would wait for his mind to return and he always came back to her and her love that she beamed a light in through the brambles out to him in that very dark time. Not just because she was a caring daughter to her mother and nursed her through this life into the next. Not because sometimes she had to fight for her right of passage for her own peace of mind, and do it with the understanding of why she had chosen that brave path, taking time to explain to me every fork in her road of her contemplated decisions. Not just because she had lost her youngest son also very recently and finds the strength everyday to ignore her broken heart for the sake of being the matriarch, to get out of her bed and push on through what can be a cold and hard world at the easiest of times, like a one armed mass climbing a wall of ice. Not because she sat with us all through every sick day, every school play, every hearsay. Through our bad choices, bad behavior, bad times as a family. Through hunger, through adversity, through the hoop of proverbial fire. Not just because every pet became hers to clean up after, feed, vet visit and even bury, while she didn’t even like dogs. Every meal she sat through a child’s reasoning, in-laws, outlaws, and one-sided laws. Teacher’s days, college days, moody days. Not because she bought and wrapped thousands of presents over the years. Not because when she had to work to keep the family together she didn’t question it, she stepped up to it, without asking it how long it was going to take it. Not just because there must be times when as an older person you feel invisible and she handled that metamorphosis with a hard earned wisdom. Of course all of those examples of a loving mother adds up to the child receiving that unconditional message. Those acts of selfless love and dedication to us all. After years of being to most of my shows, she still gets the most animated and enjoys them nearly as much as I do.
Mother you can do no wrong simply because you have only done your best, and your best for me is probably the most important introduction to family and structure I could ever receive.
Dad set up my passion for music and turned my key to survival with honor. And you set up my understanding and appreciation of women. Then set the mark not to high for anyone to follow, but reset the reality switch. Anyone can be a great mother, all you have to do is put your foot of honesty first at all times. Realise there is nothing more important than your child’s welfare and happiness. Embrace sacrifice and become fearless when danger lifts the veil to the children sleeping. To go hungry, cold, broke or die if life asks that of you. My mother did all of that in front of my eyes, without a whiff of complaint, with only an air of unquestionable matter of fact. As I was born to be a musician, she was born to be our loving mother. Beyond the doctors, the priests, the scholars, and women somewhere created the child that became. That same women with an overabundance of unconditional love makes all the difference. That musician can strum their guitar and sing songs that have aim and purpose. When I sing, I sing from my family, I sing from the heart and soul. From the mothers before, here, now and the mothers not born yet. My mother did that for me with every moment of example. In her frustration, in her joys, in everyday I have had the pleasure of knowing her.
That’s why a mother can do no wrong.